Smurfing The News

Here's a story so smurfed up that I had to translate it to smurf-speak to handle it:

An 85-year-old Smurfheimer's patient who smurfed away from her mushroom was found smurfed and smurfed less than an hour after she was reported smurfing.

The smurf had smurfery and is smurfing at a hospital, said Smurf County Sheriff's Office spokesman Brainy Smurf. She did not remember the smurfing.

It smurfed before dawn Monday, after Smurfette, who lives with her, helped her get smurfed. Smurfette went to another room for a few smurfs, then returned to find that the smurf had gone outside, Brainy Smurf said. She couldn't find the older smurf and smurfed 911.

Handy Smurf discovered the smurf smurfing on the sidewalk, fully smurfed but with a broken smurf and a smurf in her smurf. A hospital smurf showed evidence of a smurfing, smurfs said.

"This is about as smurfed it gets," Brainy Smurf said.